She:
A fine      ro-mance, with no kiss-es! 
A fine      ro-mance, my friend, this is!
We should be like a cou-ple of hot to - ma - toes,_____
but you're as cold as yes - ter - day's mashed po - ta - toes.____

A fine      ro-mance, you won't    nes-tle, 
a fine      ro-mance, you won't    wres-tle!
I might as well play bridge with my old maid aunts!
I have-n't got a chance, this is a fine ro - mance!

A fine     ro-mance, my good fel-low!
You take   ro-mance, I'll take   jel - lo!
You're calm - er than the seals in the arc - tic o - cean.____
at least they flap their fins to ex - press e - mo - tion!____

A fine    ro-mance, with no    quar-rels, 
with no   in-sults  and all   mor-als!
I've ne - ver mussed the crease in your blue serge pants,
I ne-ver get the chance,  this is a fine ro - mance!

He:
A fine      ro-mance, with no kiss-es! 
A fine      ro-mance, my friend, this is!
We two should be like clams in a dish of chow - der,____
but we just fizz like parts of a Seid-litz  pow - der!___

A fine      ro-mance, with no clin-ches,
a fine      ro-mance with no  pinch-es!
You're just as hard to land as the 'Ile de France',
I haven't got a chance,  this is a fine ro - mance!

A fine      ro-mance, my dear duch - ess!
Two old     fo-gies who need crutch-es!
True love should have the thrills that a heal-thy crime has!__
We don't have half the thrills that the 'March of Time' has!___

A fine      ro-mance, my good wo-man, 
my strong   'aged in the wood'  wo - man!
You ne-ver give the or-chids I send a glance,
no, you like cac - tus plants,  this is a fine  ro - mance!